I am tired. So tired. I am at my end. With school, with figuring out my life. With having to wear pants. I am over it all. I am over trying to be a functioning adult. It seems like a waste. I want to do great things, big, world changing things but some mornings I can’t even remember to put on deodorant. So much goes into being a functioning member of society that I am destined to fail at something. Why even bother? I am tired and desperately asking God for energy, stamina and some grace.
As I have been seeking God in the midst of this exhaustion, the phrase ‘Grace upon grace’ repeatedly echoes in my mind. I am weak and I fail often but I have been lavished with grace upon grace in even the darkest corners of my dusty heart. When I feel as though I cannot possibly overcome, multiple times a day, I pray for an ounce of grace. But the thing about grace is there is no ration. No quota. No Grace threshold that we have to be careful not to cross. God gives free refills on his Grace. It’s marvelous.
God does not go about handing out small amounts of Grace, afraid he may run out or stumble upon another sinner who needs the Grace much more. Grace is not withheld from anyone who asks for it. God is generous and his grace is bountiful. When I feel I need just a small amount of grace to push me over the finish line- God covers me with grace upon grace upon grace. In the emptying hallow moments where I am sure I cannot endure another second I need not to reach inside myself for strength, I reach out to him. He covers it all for me. I get to rest in his shadow and dance in his light because of the unending, healing power of his grace. I try desperately to never fail and inevitably I do but I am a sinner saved by grace and every day I am renewed by that same grace.
If you are tired too. If you are done. Weak. Imperfect. Struggling. Call to Him. He has never ending, free flowing Grace upon Grace upon Grace for you tired, imperfect heart. Rest in him and his free refills of Grace.